BDSM – Some Hard Lessons!

Dear Dark Romance Readers!

Guess what my next book is about! If you thought BDSM, you’d be right, but not just that; well mostly that. The book is called Hard Lessons (great name, hey?) and will be released on October 25.

What happens when you put Mira, superstar Las Vegas prosecuting attorney, in a court room with Jack Creed, dark, alpha mafia man? What happens when Mira puts Jack’s brother, Robert, away for 15 years? Well shit hits the fan is what happens!

Jack’s not happy. Mira’s not happy. Michael Black and Isabelle Sterling, who make an appearance in Hard Lessons, aren’t happy (the dry Las Vegas heat is murder on Isabelle’s skin).

I’m so excited about this book, I can hardly wait until it’s released! In the meantime, to ensure you’re ready for Jack Creed’s version of BDSM, I’m giving a few lessons of my own. Don’t worry, they’re supersoft like rainbows and unicorns (okay that’s just bullshit – I don’t do rainbows and unicorns).

Let’s start with Jasmin’s definitions of BDSM

Well, not just mine, Google’s too.

B is for Bondage. Being tied up or restrained by such things as ropes, tape, stockings, ties or other such things.

D is for Discipline. Using rules and punishments to control or correct behaviour. This is exercised to any degree as consented to. Punishments are discussed and agreed upon but generally not something the sub would derive enjoyment from. Such punishments include lectures, physical pain, humiliation, loss of freedom or privileges etc. Often in romance novels, when spanking is used as a form of punishment, it’s not actually punishment if it gets the heroine hot and turns into super-steamy sex.

D is also for Dominance & S is for Submission. This is the power exchange between two people and is closely linked to discipline. One person has control over the other’s actions. A Sub isn’t a Sub because her partner is a Dom. A Sub chooses the role because she derives pleasure from it. The same is true of a Dom.

S is also for Sadism & M is for Masochism. This is the pleasure derived from giving or receiving pain or humiliation.

BDSM is NOT intentional cruelty toward a nonconsenting person. It’s not dark, violent or disturbed as often portrayed in the media. It’s not shameful or sinful. It’s as public or private as two (or more) consenting adults wish it to be. It can be fun, humourous, intense, experimental, edgy and fucking fantastic!

In Hard Lessons, after a particularly intense love-making scene, Jack says to Mira, “There’s no shame in what we did, Mira.” And he’s right. As long as it’s consensual.

Do I indulge in BDSM? Yes. Don’t we all? Do you like to scratch your nails along your lover’s back while you’re making love? Have your hair or throat grabbed during sex? Be blindfolded, tied up, or occasionally slapped on the ass? Nipples nipped, pinched or sucked hard? These are all lighter elements of BDSM.

And they’re exciting.

I am not exactly a submissive but give me a hot guy with a hard body and both my will and body become increasingly bendable. I am also not into the harder elements of BDSM because I don’t get turned on by giving or receiving pain. A little dominance from my partner during sex? Oh yes, please! It’s edgy, it’s hot and it’s entirely consensual. Do I have a safe word? Not really, because the BDSM is light and I can stop it anytime by kicking my partner in the balls (just kidding… sort of). I also don’t have a contract, the play isn’t always discussed in advance, and sometimes the lube rolls under the bed.

But when my partner tells me to do something, and I say, “Make me.” And he does, the sex gets smoking hot!

Light BDSM is often an element of Romance Books

I read romance for several reasons, including the erotica elements of it. It’s a way to immerse myself in a fantasy that may not be totally acceptable to me in my everyday reality. It’s very unlikely I would fall in love with a misogynistic, controlling, alpha male kidnapper (Anto Kharzin anyone?) because in real life, a man like this would be a true psychopath who wouldn’t respect or exercise boundaries. But in my fantasy world, yup, Anto’s my guy.

I’m not going to go into the deeper psychological reasons why romance fiction is such a popular genre (perhaps a future blog) but reading and engaging in light BDSM is a way to let go of or take control of our lives. When it’s shared between loving, respectful partners (or by yourself with a magic wand) it adds multiple dimensions (and orgasms) to our fantasy and sex lives. It’s an awesome escape from the real world.

So then, what’s the problem?

Jack Creed teaserIn Hard Lessons (Running with the Devil, Book 5 – October 25 release), Jack is an alpha male who understands Mira’s submissive nature. However, he’s also a manipulative, duplicitous bastard who takes advantage of Mira’s vulnerability to utterly destroy her life. At the same time, he doesn’t push beyond her limits. He is gentle and caring and is truly regretful for his emotional manipulation of her. He makes the rules and when Mira breaks them, he punishes her. He’s so hot in his rules and his discipline that I… ahem… might be getting a little… um… turned on just writing this.

Excuse me while I take a short break.

Okay, I’m back. Where was I? Oh yes, Jack and Mira. Dom/Sub.

Does Mira consent? Yes and no. I rewrote the first few chapters several times, each time giving Mira a little more willingness to be a consenting participant. But Hard Lessons skirts the edge of consensual sex, especially at the beginning. It takes Mira time to come to terms with her submissive nature and her feelings for Jack. She fights her desire to be dominated by Jack; resists the idea that a little pain turns her on.

It doesn’t help that Jack manipulates her emotionally, but despite his assholeishness, he’s a caring Dom who ensures that Mira is okay every step of the way. He’s also one of those rare alpha males that’s willing to give up a little control himself for his partner’s pleasure.

Have I made you curious yet?

The Test

You know there had to be one. After all, I’m in control today.

Question 1:

Your guy (or girl) wants to tie you up and fuck you senseless.

Do you:

  1. Say, yes please
  2. Tie him up instead
  3. Go get the fluffy pink handcuffs
  4. All of the above

Question 2:

You’ve heard of this awesome upcoming book by Jasmin Quinn called Hard Lessons.

Do you:

  1. Add it to your TBR list on Goodreads 
  2. Sign up for Jasmin’s newsletter so you don’t miss the release date
  3. Join Jasmin’s closed Facebook group, Jasmin’s Dark Side
  4. All of the above

If you chose D as your answer for both questions, you are truly my kind of girl or guy!

Happy reading my love slaves!

Love Jasmin

Categories: Upcoming Book Release

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